Better Single Than Sorry ...

There is something about the number 30 that strikes fear into any woman hoping to get married and have children. I think It's dangerous to put a specific age or period of time dating on when you "should get married". Doing so only leads you to follow some imaginary deadline which leads to trouble. Too early and you might pass up on the perfect love, or force yourself to marry someone who isn't right to meet that deadline, or start feeling bad and knocking yourself because you are "already 30 and unmarried!" or some other crap like that.

Now I am 28 years old, and I don’t even think of getting married. Is that an embarrassing thing when you're still single while all of your friends already married & have a kid?? Gee.... people need to have freedom to grow.

There is no age that dictates when someone is ready for marriage or kids. Some people find that they are simply happier without marriage or kids. I remember when I passed the age when my parents got married, I defiantly had a feeling of "I should find someone to marry".

Well it happened when I was 25, suddenly I thought about my age & my future, I kept thinking about getting married all the time. In my social life 25 is a prefect age for a women to get married. I’ve been dating several men, but seems none of them impressed me well.So now I’m still single…

I have dreamed about what my wedding will be like since I knew what weddings were, the dress, the rings, the flowers, the party, the presents. Basically yes I know marriage is all sweet and blablabla… 

but the thing is marriage is not only about that right? Marriage is not for trial and error, it is just as important as any major surgery.

There are so many plans that I should prepare likes myself mentally, financially, physical, spirituality, etc & right now I'm not ready to totally commit to one person. Being able to commit to someone is a beautiful thing, but being able and ready is different than doing right...???

I want to have more than enough time after graduating to settle in my career, have a stable job, so able to save, instead of spend, spend, spend. Whether for a home, a vehicle, investments, travel, whatever plans I have for my future.
I believe that it'll be an age where I'm ready, able and willing to get married and bring my children into this world, having the energy and wisdom to educate as well as raise them, after 30 hahahahaa.... LOL
so If you're not ready to get married, don't do it. Ignore the pressures around you and just live your life the way you want to. Don’t be afraid of your ticking clock, stop worrying. Have fun. Get passionate about something and HE will find you. And then you'll thank God you waited.

Secangkir hangat Cappuchio buat Kalian...

Bintang yang terpendar di angkasa malam ini,
Bercerita tentang sebuah persahabatan,
Persahabatan yang terjalin di bawah pohon mahoni di jalan Banda Bandung.
Yeah ini cerita tentang kita,
tentang aku, Angie, Elza dan di bontot Adhe.
Kalian terlahir untuk menjadi belahan jiwaku,
Yang masih mau mendengarkan semua keluhanku, saat kalian sedang berasa dalam peluh,
Yang masih mau membelai disaat kekecewaan mendera, walau kalianpun sedang dalam gelisah...

Kalian adalah hadiah dari surga diulang tahun ku yang ke 26
Dan 2 tahun setelah itupun kalian tetap hadiah terindah buat ku.
Menuntun jalanku saat tersesat & tak tahu jalan pulang, melindungiku saat terik dan panasnya kehidupan menderaku, menegurku disaat ku mulai bertindak kacau, dan menjadi pendengarku yang setia disaat ku berceloteh tentang si dia, mereka, dan tentang kekesalanku di hari itu…
Kalian adalah keindahan dalam hidup,
Laksana pelangi, kalian menorehkan warna-warni pada kanvas hidupku,
Laksana komposer handal, kalian tlah mengubah susunan not dalam tangga nada jiwaku...

Sahabat…
Pernah sesekali kita tak meninggalkan jejak yang sama,
Berseteru, berbeda pendapat, dan bersilat lidah,
Namun suatu keadaan membuat segalanya baik kembali.
ooh… apa jadinya hidupku tanpa kalian
si Angie yang selalu melek tehnologi…
si Elza dengan sikap heroiknya …
dan si bontot Adhe yang menambah bobotku…

Dalam banyak waktu yang telah kulewati bersama kalian
Dalam banyak kisah yang telah kualami bersama kalian
Dalam banyak khayalan yang tercipta bersama kalian
Dan mimpi-mimpi yang terinspirasi dari kalian
aku telah mendapatkan begitu banyak kisah

Aku hanyalah perempuan
yang tengah mencari muara kedewasaan
Yang kadang sering melukai
dan menyakiti hati kalian
Yang kalanya melangkah sendiri beralaskan keanguhan & keegoisanku
Kekurangdewasaanku, keterbatasan dalam diriku
Kebodohanku, dan segala kekhilafanku
Seringkali menjadi bumerang dalam persahabatan kita.
Namun...
anugerah Tuhan memang begitu indah
Kalian selalu mencari dan memeluku dengan kehangatan, menyadarkanku dari segala khilaf dan kembali membuatku tersenyum menatap diri sendiri
Aaaaah, kalianlah memang sahabat-sahabatku yang luar biasa

Dan kini saat satu babak dalam hidup telah kulalui,
Dan ada jalan yang tlah membentang untuk ku lalui
Jalan yang semakin penuh dengan lika liku
Dan hanya aku yang melangkah disana, tanpa kalian
Oooh apa jadinya nanti, kala tak ada kalian?
Masih sanggupkah aku menitinya
Masih beranikah aku berjalan dengan kepala terangkat
Dan tertawa riang diakhir perjalanan seperti sekarang?

Entah bagaimana ku harus berucap terimakasih

Membalas segala yang telah kita lalui bersama
Yang kuraih hari ini adalah hasil dari cinta kalian
Yang kupeluk hari ini adalah hasil dari semangat kalian
Yang kurengkuh hari ini adalah hasil dari senyum hangat kalian
Dan semangatku hari ini adalah hasil dari tawa bahagian kalian...

Sahabat-sahabatku,
Mungkin mentari yang kan menyinari kita berbeda
Dan arah tujuan kitapun tak sama lagi
Untuk masa depan
yang tak pernah mampu kita ramalkan
Biarkan hari ini memeluk masa silam kita dengan kenangan dan masa depan dengan penuh kerinduan.

Terimakasih sahabatku,
Terimakasih atas segala

Bandung 18 Mei 2010
sahabat kalian yang paling Bohay
Miss Kiting

Ketika hatiku tlah disakiti, ajarku tuk memiliki hati mengampuni,
Ketika keputusasaan melingkupi ku, ajarku tuk tak menyerah,

Ketika orang lain menghakimiku, ajarku tuk bisa memeluk mereka dengan damai,

Ketika setiap rencana hidupku hancur berantakan, ajarku tuk berserah,
Ketika setiap peristiwa hanya memberikan kekecewaan dan air mata, ajarku untuk tetap bersyukur.
Ketika aku tak memahami rencanaMU atas hidupku, ajarku tuk tetap percaya.

Ajar ku tuk tetap setia padaMu ya Tuhan...

Cara ku Mencintaimu ...

Aku mencintaimu dalam kesunyianku,
Karena dalam sunyi tak kan kutemukan penolakanmu.
Aku mencintaimu dalam kesepianku,
Karena dalam sepi tak kan ada yang memilikimu selain aku.
Aku mencintaimu dalam malam-malamku,
Karena hanya pada malam dapat kupeluk bayangmu.
Aku mencintaimu dalam nyenyak tidurku,
Karena hanya dalam mimpi kau nyata untukmu.
Aku mencintaimu dalam sesak piluku,
Karena dalam kepiluan ada air mata yang tercurah atas namamu.
Andai kau tahu...

Takkan mudah bagiku tuk menyapa cinta yang lain,
Karena aku hanya memiliki satu cinta dihati.
Beginilah cara ku tuk mencintaimu 

To Mr. R ...
Terimakasih telah mengajari ku banyak hal (Bandung, 29/01/09)

Lady in Waiting ....

I saw Ugly Betty session 4, episode 19: The Past Presents and the future. Each minute of the 19th episode I just laughing, smiling, holding my breath and suddenly the tears come. It was the sweetest episode for me. It was Hilda’s wedding. On the day of the wedding, Justin brings Austin and Ignacio brings Elena. Daniel arrives dateless and He sees Betty come out from the car then he tells Betty that she looks great. There are sparkles in Daniel’s eye when he saw Betty. During the wedding there are a lot of loves and my heart just melted when Daniel gazes at Betty, indicating that he has realized he's in love with her when Hilda was giving her speech. On her speech Hilda talks about knowing someone better than they do and that you would do anything to protect them and how that's when you know that you are in love. The only disappointment would be why it took him (Daniel) so long to figure it out.
Well it happens in our life, sometimes it took so long for us to figure it out: “the one”. We still believe in love at the first sight, but we never realize that someone close to you might be your mate. Of course you are going to fall in love one day and it will lead to a committed, long term relationship. But 'first sight'? How many times will you fall in love before the ' right one' comes along ?
The older I get the more I believe that love at the first sight is just a myth, cause I think true love is a combo of respect, understanding and connection - and those, in my humble opinion can only be discovered when you get to know someone. Perhaps I believe in attraction at first sigh, love can not be accomplished so quickly.
I thought how wonderful my life could be if I could share it with a loving, trustful and supportive. I dreamed to find a real partner, someone that I can share my happiest and saddest moments with. Someone, who's never get tired of hearing how my day went by, a partner that is here to listen, to share, and to offer a comfort and supportive shoulder.
And sometimes, I found myself asking: "Why haven't I found him yet? What can I do to attract and get the man that I want? What different am I from the millions of happy woman enjoying good relationships with their partners?" I’m not that different from those women. I’m not less intelligent, less beautiful than most happy women.
I kept thinking perhaps I haven't been able to got the right man of my dreams because I’m not good enough, or because I have probably been making several mistakes in the way I choose, approach, behave and communicate with men?
or maybe I should just stay single for the rest of my life. Dating, marriage and kids are not in the deck of cards God has planned for me.
What if all I planned in my mind ares totally opposite of what God has in mind? What if while I’m looking for greatness I let greatness passed me by, as a matter of fact when my MR. RIGHT walks into my life, I probably won’t even recognize him.
I do believe God's way is best, His design is perfect, God has one person for you to spend forever with. Truth is, I am not sure what my Mr. Right will be like. I have an idea, but I keep thinking that as good as my idea may sound, God’s plan is a whole lot better. God is still God and always will be. His timing is perfect, not yours or mine, and when it's time, you will be with “the one” God designed for you.